reflections

i still didn't manage to reflect properly...

a self-reflective attitude certainly is important, to critically assess oneself, look back, what you achieved, how you approached things, what you could do better next time...to write about it is another thing..

the beauty about it... however (and i am still waiting for the beauty to enter my brain) is when there is self reflection, but still you are one with your thoughts, and stop constantly thinking about the actual process of reflection, which on the other hand can become a big fat monster which is trying to censor you, which is trying to tell you that your thoughts are not good enought, that you have to be more critical, that you have to sound more clever, that you have to be just that tiny step ahead of all those millions of millions of individuals who are just doing the same... typing for the sake of it and filling the blank screen with symbols which then become words and sentences, and which should imply meaning...

what makes you want to read all this my friend, from far away...

what distinguishes me from the rest, and is it actually necessary to be distinguished? is it really always asked to be different to point out your uniqueness expose yourself once more in this web-internet- to tell the secrets you don't even want to admit to yourself....

i don't see you but yet i know you, and yes... we create our identity... simultaneously on the computer screen... for whom?.. for you, for me, for the world.?.. the hyperreal which we certainly don't understand... which doesn't exist anywhere else but our imagination...

only do I know that I constantly get caught up on the internet... yet my online-identity is far less critical and picky than the one i aim to express in real life..

then there is the obvious blurring of real life and cyberlife, and I find it good and bad at the same time, and I know i certainly can't change it, but the least i could do is be conscious about it, aware of this transformation process, the shift in spheres of interaction, which brings me back to my initial challenge to write about self reflection, which has to do with all or nothing, and as a matter of expierence and perception is constantly changing as well, for the good or the bad, or the ugly and evil, unhappy, positive, negative... everything at the same time... or the sublimeness of life and attitude towards things... that was me from my little sailing boat down on the ocean